I sit here on my futon, in my empty house, by myself, wishing to share my story, with someone, anyone.  So I share it with all of you.

In the past year, I have faced divorce, loss of my job, and soon if my house doesn't sell, the bank will take it.  I sit here with no money, no furniture, and only one place to turn... My future. 

Despite all the negative, a wife with psychological issues, a stoke of bad luck with work and financial difficulties, I found my way through refection, and self improvement, that has empowered me to see that I have a future if I want it. 

Seven months ago, for the first time ever, at age 35, I decided it was time to meet someone.  The most important person on the world to me.  That person is…ME. 

I realized that all this wasn't external forces against me.  I played a roll in it somehow, and no matter what happens, I can't allow the same cycle to occur. Finding out who I am, what makes me tick, and build that person with the building blocks that I want to be my composition was my goal, and it has been a rewarding journey.

Sure, the trials of everyday life are still trying, but the work I have done to install filters and re-define my circle of influence is paving the way to a bright future. I simply look at what I have, appreciate all of it, and decide one aspect at a time, what I will allow influence it, and who or what I will deflect as unimportant.

Defining myself by self-respect, boundaries, values and worth are just a few of those traits that I have installed.  I remain the sensitive, emotional and loving man, I just pick and chose who or what influences these emotions. Becoming jaded, cynical and negative, I deemed self-destructive and would not have me in a good place.

Don't be afraid of help, face your fears, face your self.  You have to love you, before you can love or be loved.