Recently I had to face my self and my children and move us out of our home. You might think this would be a happy ending to a bad story but it feels more like an uphill battle every day.

I was married to a brut of a guy and we had 3 small children. We were happy early in our marriage but as he got older he seemed to treat me worse and worse. When he was home he either neglected me and the children or when he’d drink he’d get abusive with me.

Therapy didn’t help me much. He wouldn’t go. I didn’t know how to fix him, how to change him. I just believed it was so important to keep trying so the children would have their mom and dad together. So many kids together grow up in one parent households and I always thought it wasn’t fair to the kids.

I stayed with my husband for 10 years and more abuse than I want to admit to. It really wore me down day after day. One day while reading something a light went on for me. I began to feel emotionally stronger the more I read. I began to question things in my life and in my family that I’d put up with all those years. How could this be right? What kind of mother was I to my children when they could see me so beaten down? What sort of example was their father for them?  Would they turn out just like him because he showed them that’s what a father was? Or allow themselves to be treated that way because that’s what I showed them a wife and mother is to take?

Day after day I began to rethink my idea to stay with this brut. Slowly I began to face my self and my decision to stay with him. Look at what I’d become by staying with him. It wasn’t a pretty picture that I saw. I barely knew my self any more and certainly didn’t like what I saw when I looked in the mirror. He’d convinced even me that I wasn’t all that worthwhile.

I made a decision that I would not stay with this man another year. It took all the courage I could muster and it took a very good plan with the help of a friend but I did it. By facing me and realizing I was worth a whole lot more than the behavior I was getting from him, I was able to face and stand up to him.

Today I’m raising my children by myself but it’s a very very good self, a very positive self. Finally I am an example of a mother that I am proud to be and that I know is right. The children still see their dad and have a relationship of sorts. But he can’t abuse me if I’m not there to be the recipient any longer.

Today I can honestly look in the mirror and face my self with gratitude and appreciation.