Eight years ago I was told by my medical doctor that I had early stage emphysema and chronic bronchitis. As a heavy smoker I’d had bronchitis no less than 4 times a year for the past three years. Each time it would take 4-8 weeks to get rid of it. And each time I would smoke right through it. Other smokers understand this but non-smokers, never smokers don’t. A nicotine addiction does not go away when you’re sick only to return again on a sunny day. Oh if only that were true it would have been worth it to be sick!

So there I was where I’d dragged myself yet again to be helped. This time I really felt awful and looked even worse. He saw the open door of opportunity I suspect because he hooked me up on a breathing apparatus that tested my capacity. (At least that’s what I think it was doing.)

He came in the room chuckling to himself like he’d just found all the candy and told me I had the lungs of an 86 year old. I was a smoker but I wasn’t stupid and I heard what he said. He then got serious and broke it down for me. Telling me about the emphysema of which there is no cure. “Stop smoking now and it won’t progress but keep smoking and it does and it will ultimately kill you.” Now that I really heard.

I felt grateful that I was not just diagnosed with cancer, incurable cancer. I was being given a warning sign here, a second chance, and I did not want to pass it up. Determined little shrew that I am, I set my mind to find out how to do that which I’d already tried no less than 20 times before. This time I just had to make it.

The first thing I had to do was accept that for a time I might put on some weight but that I could lose it later, after the toughest part was over. I knew that I had to do something about the oral fixation that smoking has on us and it was going to come from food. I gave myself permission to do whatever was necessary not to smoke even if it meant nonstop eating.

Then I did some research on line and I found that people who took Zyban (a Wellbutrin alternate) and the nicotine patch at the same time were 50% more successful than people who did just one without the other. They were just coming out with a nicotine inhaler at that time and I was dreaming of 75% success when I showed up at my doctors office. Well he nixed the plan for the inhaler but he started me on the medication and gave me a prescription for the patch. I picked a start date and I was under way.

Lots of carrots, grapes, ice, salad and lots of water too. (My dentist thought I could have done without the ice but the damage to the teeth was worth it.) I started fitness walking too. It is said if you take one bad habit away you should replace it with one good one. I already ruled out replacing it with eating, that would just be a temporary crutch. I can’t say enough how important it was to monitor my “self talk”. It was crucial for me to allow myself to exceed any weight restrictions I’d always had in place and had always sent me back to smoking. I had no choice this time. There was just one rule I had to follow – Don’t smoke. It was quit or die.

To the healthy snacks, the exercise, patches and medicine, I added deep breathing everytime the thought of a smoke entered my mind and it really helped. I also added prayer and found strength like no other come from the Lord. Each day I focused solely upon that day, sometimes that hour or that minute.

I made it! I succeeded! I wore the patches longer than they say to before stepping down to the next one and I even cut the smallest dose ones in half just to be sure I wouldn’t go cold turkey off nicotine. I became a very active person. I would look for opportunities to get exercise. I started volunteering at different agencies if it meant I could do something physical and burn calories in the process. I bought a bike and rode whenever I got a chance but mostly, one step at a time, one thought at a time, I just did not smoke.

Now, eight years out, I see people smoking and I feel sorry for them because I remember how hard it was to quit. I don’t know if they’ll get an early warning (blessing) like I did but they probably don’t really care because they don’t think it will happen to them. Smokers always think they have another month, another week, another day left to smoke. One day they’ll run out of time and I bet that’ll be a whole lot worse than running out of smokes.

- A very grateful ex-smoker.
Burlington, VT